An open letter to the lady who talks on the cellphone in the public restroom

Dear  Lady Who Talks on the Cellphone in the Public Restroom,

I just wanted to take this opportunity to address you openly. I know that there must only be one person in the world who has the disgusting audacity to actually talk on the phone in a public restroom, so this letter is directed to you!

I most recently came across you in the restroom at the library. You were talking away on your phone to a friend describing in excruciating detail the goings on of your day. No detail seemed to be left out. You told this “friend” about your excursion to the mall to buy your daughter a bra. I am the lady in stall #1 who kept flushing the toilet.

So let me get to the meat and potatoes of why I felt it necessary to write this letter. I hope I need not have to tell you the main use for a public restroom.  The public restroom is not the modern day version of the phone booth.  The sounds of the natural digestion process are not meant to be background of a polite phone conversation. I am sorry that you have such a busy life that you cannot put down your phone for a few brief moments to eliminate your body’s waste products. If you don’t care about the sounds of your own elimination, please offer others the courtesy. Everyone participates in the digestion process sometime, and I doubt that your social life would come to an end in a brief five minute unplug. 

Please take your conversation to your parked car. I might also suggest the bathroom in your own home if you must multitask. I hope that this letter has been informative to you and that you will discontinue your use of a cellphone in the public restroom. If by chance this letter has not impacted you, I will continue to flush the toilet until you get the hint!

Sincerely,

The Lady in Stall #1

PS: I noticed that you did not wash your hands when you exited the bathroom! Thanks so much for sharing more of yourself with the public